


i'll find you again

by taemintylips



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Brotherhood, Gang AU, Gun Violence, M/M, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 06:16:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11075733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taemintylips/pseuds/taemintylips
Summary: Frail promises of a tomorrow together are made, secrets are whispered into the biting air, and excessive hope is unforgiving.





	i'll find you again

They’re fighting a losing battle, Kihyun thinks.

Rain is sloshing down on the remnants of the once proud city looming over them, casting an eerie shadow.

Everything reeks of death and hollowness. Gunshots and screams pierce through the heavy curtain of rain.

Kihyun doesn’t know life other than this. A symphony of chaos and disorder in the form of small bullets and glinting blades.

 

 

It wasn’t always like this.

He remembers a time where brief kisses could be stolen and gentle hugs could be returned.

 

 

The pained shouts of his men can be heard near and afar. Kihyun tries to move his limbs with no avail.

He’s curled into himself because of the pain shooting up his torso, caused by innumerous kicks and brutal punches. Bruises and cuts are littered across his body. Kihyun grits his teeth and tastes blood seeping from the cut on his lip.

Everything hurts.

He raises his head from the muddy ground and lifts his gaze. A small circle of men stand a few feet apart, smirking at his pitiful figure. They aren’t going to kill him.

Yet.

A defiant fire still blazes in his eyes. Kihyun seethes.

Until Hoseok stumbles upon the small circle of people and sees Kihyun upon the ground. His shock isn’t hidden well. Not well enough.

Kihyun’s eyes widen.

 

 

They both know that whatever they have between them is a mistake. A betrayal to their clans.

But the thrill of loving, the thrill of living _together_ has them hooked.

Hoseok said it was more addictive than the cigarettes that often dangled from his lips.

More intoxicating. More exhilarating.

Also way hotter, he once whispered against Kihyun’s pulse. Kihyun had replied with a desperate tug on his hair, followed with a scorching kiss that left them both breathless and aching for more.

 

Kihyun learned that Hoseok was as deadly as the smoke he inhaled.

Sharp and jagged at the edges; toxic and alluring.

They both were.

 

But Hoseok was a burst of unexpected albeit dangerous shade of color against the dull gray canvas of Kihyun’s life, a thread of twisted hope and happiness keeping him sane.

 

They started off enticing and electrifying, with rushed marks and dark bruises; now they’ve become lulling tides, tender kisses and feathery touches.

 

Reality intended for them to be enemies. While Kihyun was the son of one the most powerful clan leaders, Hoseok was merely a nameless killing machine from a small but lethal resisting force.

 

Kihyun hid Hoseok in shadows of the shadiest areas; Hoseok skirted through dreariness solely for the warmth they could only seek from each other.

Secrets were hidden well behind moldy walls and beneath the hushed rustling of stale bedsheets.

They thought it could stay that way. Living on frail promises of a tomorrow.

 

Until the hate between both clans crashed upon their shoulders in brutal waves of slaughter.

 

 

Hoseok doesn’t expect to see Kihyun like this, lying on the ground covered in dark splotches of mud, face twisted in pain. He skids to a stop and tries a tad too late to mask his horror with indifference.

 

He feels the others’ gaze boring into the back of his head. He hears someone telling the others to leave, to help out their men in another district. A large hand claps him on his shoulder.

 

It’s Hyungwon. A childhood friend, an ally, a trustworthy partner in moments of danger. Someone who could read Hoseok from front to back with just a mere glance.

A dangerous bishop waiting for the right moment to strike.

(An enemy when it comes to Kihyun.)

 

“What’s wrong, Hoseok? Aren’t you happy to see the son of the Yoo Clan at our mercy?”

“Of course,” Hoseok scoffs. “And for what reasons are you keeping him alive?”

Hyungwon purses his lips, eyes glinting with a cruel lilt.

“I thought you’d like to have him all to yourself.”

A gun is tossed to Hoseok. He catches it with shaking hands. He raises cautious eyes to Hyungwon’s shining ones.

“This is acting against protocol, Chae,” Hoseok starts, but Hyungwon waves him off.

“Not today. It’s a wipeout.”

Hoseok thinks Hyungwon’s eyes are too bright, too knowing, too scheming, too pitying.

“I’m not stupid, Hoseok,” he warns. “I’ll be back in half an hour.”

And Hyungwon leaves.

Hoseok closes his eyes against the relentless downpour.

 

“Baby,” Kihyun calls weakly over the sloshing rain. “Baby, look at me.”

 

Hoseok falls to his knees and caresses Kihyun’s face in his shaking hands. Kihyun is sporting an ugly bruise on his right cheek and his lip is bleeding profusely.

He looks at Hoseok with such intensity and tenderness, all hatred washed away.

Hoseok thinks Kihyun is still beautiful like this.

 

Kihyun presses his bleeding lips to Hoseok’s hands, a small smile gracing his features. He looks so defeated and vulnerable, something Hoseok never thought he would see in his life.

Something he never thought Yoo Kihyun would be in his life.

 

He finally finds his voice.

“Kihyun-” Hoseok chokes out. Kihyun shushes him.

“It’ll be fine, baby. I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. You can do this. You have to do this.”

 

Kihyun presses the gun back into Hoseok’s hands. He winces and tries to sit upright but fails, a hand clutching at his chest, trying to steady cracked ribs.

 

Hoseok’s heart breaks. He wants to hold Kihyun tight and kiss away all the pain but he can’t, _goddamn it he can’t_ , not in this life, not here, not now.

“Baby, I can’t do this,” his voice cracks. Kihyun looks at him sadly.

“There’s nothing you can do to help me anymore, Hoseok. I want you to have your tomorrow.”

 

Kihyun steadies Hoseok’s fingers on the trigger and pulls it to his forehead. Hoseok is shaking so hard, even when Kihyun is smiling encouragingly at him.

“I’ll find you again, baby.”

And Kihyun closes his eyes.

 

Hoseok squeezes his eyes shut.

Then a gunshot sounds and he can’t breathe -

 

Hoseok feels numb. He opens his eyes and doesn’t expect to see Kihyun staring at him with wide eyes and a panicked expression.

Kihyun is shouting but Hoseok can’t hear a single thing.

 

Until he lowers his head and sees red blossoming over his chest.

 

He raises his eyes to Kihyun’s and tries to speak, but only topples over the smaller man. Kihyun catches him with the energy he has left.

Hoseok hears Kihyun sobbing, hears Kihyun scream at the person approaching them.

 

It’s Changkyun. Changkyun who is something like a little brother to Kihyun, who Kihyun tries to keep shielded from all this bloodlust and slaughter, who almost never ventures out because of Kihyun’s fierce protection.

Who manages to kill with his first ever bullet.

 

Changkyun who is still too young, too naïve, too trusting and too loyal.

 

Changkyun tries to pull Kihyun away from Hoseok but he can’t; Kihyun’s hands are like vices on Hoseok’s arms.

Hoseok coughs and Kihyun whips around to face him.

Kihyun cradles his head, sobs wracking his small frame. His face is wet with tears and blood, but Hoseok is just thankful it’s the last thing he’ll probably see.

 

“Hyung, we have to leave, now,” Changkyun is still trying to detach Kihyun from Hoseok, and Kihyun snaps.

He points the gun at Changkyun with shaking hands.

“Give me one good reason, Kyun,” Kihyun gasps. “And I swear to god I’ll do it.”

Changkyun stares at Kihyun with terrified eyes and Kihyun’s already damaged heart shatters completely but he doesn’t care, not when Hoseok -

 

Hoseok is lying in his lap, breathing shallow and pained, blood gushing out of the wound at a frightening speed. Kihyun drops the gun and runs his fingers through Hoseok’s silver hair.

“Hoseok, baby, stay with me,” he whispers, tears running down his face. “Just breathe, baby, you’ll be alright.”

 

Hoseok clutches at Kihyun’s hands. He coughs again and a small trail of blood runs down his lips. He turns and blinks at Kihyun, still trying to speak.

Kihyun can tell that Hoseok is fading, fast.

“Don’t cry, Ki.”

 

Kihyun’s throat closes off. No sounds escape from his lips. He only stares at Hoseok silently, tears still falling. He shakes his head and tries to wipe his face, only managing to smear more blood onto his cheeks.

Hoseok takes a labored breath and brings Kihyun’s bruised knuckles to his lips.

“I’ll still find you, baby.”

 

Kihyun only remembers seeing Hoseok’s dark eyes flicker once more before he’s torn away.

 

 

 

Hyungwon’s scream tears through the dismal alleys when he finds his friend, dead and unseeing, once silver hair stained a grotesque pink by his own blood, a gun lying forlornly beside twisted limbs.

 

 

 

Both clans suffer from great casualties. Kihyun sees too many bodies, too much bloodshed, and too much despair.

 

He feels so empty.

 

He’s standing beside his father, leaning on clutches, head bowed in mourning. He mourns for Changkyun’s innocence, their brotherhood, and for the man that died by his brother’s hands.

The man that died loving him too much.

Rows and rows of black and white pictures are lined up in front of the party. Kihyun half expects to find himself framed there.

When Changkyun fired the gun, he didn’t know he killed Kihyun, too.

Kihyun tries to breathe.

 

After the funeral, he finds Jooheon in the crowd. Jooheon, the joker of all trades. The cross-point of both clans. The mysterious _X_.

He hands Kihyun a small blue flower. Kihyun clutches it between clammy fingers and lets his eyes flutter shut.

 

Blue is Hoseok’s favorite color. Was, Kihyun reminds himself. Was. Hoseok was.

 

“I’m sorry for your loss,” is all Jooheon says.

**Author's Note:**

> uh i dont really know what happened to my brain


End file.
